April 10, 2005

Dear Friends,

Below is a copy of a letter I sent to the Rosh Yeshiva of a
Torah school I wish to study under this fall. Sadly, I have
learned that there is a major shortage of funding for next
year's program. I'm hoping this story might inspire the wise
of heart who happen to be wealthy in pocket to do the mitzva
of supporting Torah learning and have earmarked the Pay Pal
donation button on this page so that proceeds will go to the
Azamra School of Torah Spirituality. If you are not in a
position to give that is fine. May the spirit of this letter
inspire you just the same ...

Dear Rabbi Avraham,

I have a terrifying question that is difficult for me to ask
because it concerns the life or death of a true tzaddik who
befriended me and whose wing I studied under. His name is Zvi
Cosman and I met him in the summer of 1996 when he was healthy
and well. He arranged for me to be able to stay at the Breslov
Kollel Nachal Novea Mekor Chochma, where together we studied the
Mishnaot dealing with the structure of the Temple, its passageways,
and inner sanctum. We also covered the ritual process for preparing
the High Priest to enter the Holy of Holies and the details of his
service as Zvi would lend their mystical insights. I left that summer
to finish my senior year at Wesleyan with an entirely new perspective
on Torah, Kabbalah, and the Temple service.

When I returned to study at Yeshivat HaMivtar for the year of 1998 –
1999, I was saddened to learn that he had become very ill. This time
when I visited him, I was shocked to find the hair of his peyos and
beard falling out from the chemotherapy he was receiving but I was
nevertheless blessed by his presence. I believe he was diagnosed with
lymphoma and while he was being treated, it is known that few survive
that disease. I visited him several times over that year trying to
fulfill the mitzvah of bikur cholim true to its spirit and was nevertheless
surprised with the strength he was able to muster despite the intense
agony and fragility of his condition. We had many inspiring encounters
but the situation was indeed frightening and tragic. He was in a time of
need and we became very close.

I feel vulnerable and raw revealing what I am about to write because it
has been a secret I have told no one and have guarded with my very life.
I feel the need to share it now for his sake and not mine because I am
honestly humbled and often times bewildered by what happened between us.
In a moment of terrible pain, weakness, and obvious fear he asked me to
lay hands upon his head to bless him and promise him that I had emunah
shlemah that he would have refuah shlemah from his battle with cancer.
I honored his request with all the kavanah I could muster and ever since
then I have prayed without ceasing for him and his family including his
wife and his many children. While he will always be alive in my heart and
soul, I do not know whether he has survived or not and was hoping you might
know if he is alive and well or if he has passed away.

There is one more thing I want to share and it has to do with one of my
nigunim you can find on my website that was inspired by his cause. The
melody goes to Yom Zeh L’Yisrael and can be found on the Sabbath Songs
link of www.dirtroad.org. When I told him I wrote it for him and wanted
to sing it for Shabbos, he said, “Do not sing it for me, but sing it for
Hashem, sing for God.” So I took that to heart and do sing it for Ribono
Shel Olam but I still dedicate it to him and for all victims of terminal
illness such as cancer and AIDS in hopes that the song might spread and
give birth to the miracle of healing that will come on the wings of the sun.

Eternally yours,

Avniel